Online commenters have backed a woman who said in a now-viral post that she recently made her 17-year-old niece feel “like a freak”.
Posting to Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum under the username u/AgreeableAffect7090, the woman said she lost her 15-year-old daughter last year, and her niece compared this loss to the death of her dog. In response, u/AgreeableAffect7090 “yelled” at his niece. The post garnered more than 8,600 upvotes and hundreds of comments denouncing the teenager’s insensitivity.
losing a child
Deborah Carr, Ph.D., chair of Boston University’s sociology department, told Fatherly that many consider the death of a child “the worst stressor a person can go through.”
“Parents and fathers feel specifically responsible for the welfare of the child. So when they lose a child, they don’t just lose someone they loved. They also lose the years of promises they were looking forward to,” Carr said. .
Several experts also told the publication that the grief associated with the loss of a child is often “more intense” than “classic grief”.
“The first year after losing a younger child, a parent is at increased risk for suicide and everything from major depression to complicated grief,” said Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist at New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell. School of Medicine. Paternal.
Saltz explained that “complicated grief” differs from “normal grief” in that “there are more intense symptoms, alternating with seemingly no symptoms – numbness – which potentially impairs their ability to function.”
Carr added that some parents “learn to live with the loss,” while others “struggle to find meaning in life.”
In his post, u/AgreeableAffect7090 said his 15-year-old daughter died in a car accident last year, and although she is undergoing therapy, she cannot bring herself to enter her daughter’s bedroom. .
“I couldn’t clean her room or get in there, so it’s like when she was alive,” she said. “My husband isn’t going either, and we’re keeping the door closed.”
So when their niece came over last week, u/AgreeableAffect7090 and her husband made the teenager a bed on the couch.
“She asked why she couldn’t sleep in ‘the guest room’ and I told her we didn’t have one,” u/AgreeableAffect7090 wrote. “[My] my niece said she thinks our daughter’s room is the guest room now. I explained that we hadn’t been able to change anything yet, and she rolled her eyes and said that was a year ago, and we [needed] turn the page.”
From there, things only got worse.
“When I started to cry, she tried to apologize and, I think in an attempt to relate, said she took the loss of her dog very hard but got over it. one year old, and I screamed that my kid wasn’t a dog,” u/AgreeableAffect7090 said.
Redditor u/AgreeableAffect7090’s husband sent his niece home, and her sister later accused her of being unreasonable.
“[She said] I did [my] niece ‘feels like a freak’,” u/AgreeableAffect7090 concluded. “AITA?”
Redditors said u/AgreeableAffect7090’s reaction was perfectly reasonable and criticized her niece’s callousness.
“NTA [not the a**hole]. She needed to somehow learn that it’s never okay to equate the loss of a child with the loss of a pet,” u/Sweeper1985 said. Your reaction was out of grief, you can’t really be blamed.”
“She feels like a freak because she behaved like a freak. For a 17 year old to be so cruel and callous, she has to face some consequences,” u/nottheblackhat wrote.
Redditor u/Bl0ndeFox added: “NTA. A 17 year old should know better…you’re still grieving and she was rude and insensitive. That may sound mean but maybe your niece needed to have that feeling to ‘be a freak’ to wake up a bit.”
Newsweek contacted u/AgreeableAffect7090 for comment.
More viral posts
A couple sparked an online debate on Monday after they admitted to refusing to pay their son’s school fees after he came out as gay.
Redditors have backed a teenage girl who on Monday said she contacted her birth father after learning she was the product of an affair.
And last week, commenters backed a man who told his younger siblings about their mother’s secret affair, leading them to hate her.
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